Must be nuts

-Ask me if I am happy.
-Agh?
-Ya, if I am happy, right now, please do it.
-Do you feel good?
-Haha seriously, just do it.
-Oh, come on, don't bother.
-Please, I beg you!
-God! O.K., so... are you happy?
-Check this beam and then, you guess!

Yes, do not tell me. It is clear that I am lazy. It has been almost 15 days without posts. But, you know, no news are good news, or in at least it is better to have no news than to have bad ones, and actually that's to do last have a bit to do with the last weeks.

First of all, I am doing very well, yeah yeah. My German has improved considerably, almost without me knowing it, and my social life has returned after the holidays like a blast of air, full of positivism and energy, thank God. My experience has taken a different course, I think more focused, more underway. I have started to collect the thrills I feel to judge the effectiveness of my program, and I must say that the first results have left me stunned. I have never imagined I could think so clearly and among so well defined thoughts. Of course, the process is still taking place and every day I notice that the things in my mind blow up from one place to another in a completely haywire way. Time ago, it'd have made me go crazy. However, I find it normal now, in fact, also wholly funny.

My blindness to what is not so good has gone away, pitifully. It is always interesting to be in touch with the characteristics of a particular society which are good enough to stick out, and draw them to your own society. That always happens during short periods of stay, which is not my case. Then, one gets bored and used to (and this is, as a matter of fact, really human). So now I am able to break through the negative characteristics of this society, just to try not to implement them. But I won't write my analysis yet. I'm really in a good mood to be negative today.

These days I have been also thinking about my family, but in a completely different way. I realized how much it has influenced on what I am right now and how strong I feel every moment I think of it. Last week it was my sister’s 15th birthday, and as the tradition goes, they organised a huge party to celebrate it. I have to say that I felt sad during almost the whole day and several times I desperately wanted to fly back to my country , to my place, to meet my roots and hug my people. It also came to my mind thoughts about the people who have no family, and I realized how lucky I am just 'cause my family is incredibly marvellous. But what moved me most was the fact that many people do have a family though it seems that they don’t. That is really a shame.

Finally, I thought about all the expats, like me, and about the difficulty of their situation. For me, it's been repeatedly difficult to understand the behaviors, traditions and just the way of life of this society, even when I have an adorable family who really do their own to make me feel comfortable and adapted everyday. Now, I can’t effectively be myself in those people’s place, they who had to move from their country alone, living in a completely different culture, with anyone available to speak to in the evening, or to have breakfast with.

I promise little by little I will update my life. Regards.