In love with life

This adventure is over. Despite the fact that my fingers tremble when I write, I feel myself completely blissful and satisfied, because it couldn't have been better. The people around me are the most wonderful ones I could have ever known, and since a couple of weeks, everything helps just to magnify the situation. I am not sad, I swear. I wanted to be, but I found it almost impossible. I have too many reasons to feel full and happy today.

Recently I have read something really interesting about stages in life and how to go through them (or rather, how to escape from them without regret or tribulation). What caught specially my attention was a paragraph which mentioned that if we stick ourselves to and remain tied up to it, we miss the opportunity to enjoy the magic of every stage. Like a plot, according to Aristotle, a life stage must have a beginning, a middle, and an end. Everything in its proper place. Every obstacle taken as a deeper step into the universe of senses, and each finding as an incentive for a new search. Right now it is time to end, time to let the water flow, time to start, in harmonic release, a new phase.

The good thing of the whole topic is everything we incorporate throughout these stages. Friendship. Knowledge, understanding. A string of emotions and sensations. Mental power. Experience and satisfaction. Broken hearts, flying roofs, communication skills. The list is clearly infinite.

So, stages in life are OK. After all, that is it, just going through them. This is the reason of my joy, the beginning of a new plot. Let's start burning off photos, letters, routines. Instead of mourning and crying memories, let's go out the street and make more of them. Let's allow our lives to change. It is a truth universally acknowledged, that nothing is absolutely indispensable, only our ability to think. And to smile, surely, how could I forget it!

This means under no circumstances that the time here wasn't incredible, because actually it was. Unforgettable. Amazing. Inspiring. Touching. As well as people, friends, family. After the initial setbacks, the flavors came full-force to stay and make the whole experience just great. Some days ago I was passing by a shop on the way to school and on the window there was a small sign that read They can't take that away from me, the title of one of the most beautiful songs of George Gershwin. I had to smile just right after reading it, no way!

I should amend my recent fresh words: I'm not coming back. There's no coming back for me anymore, never again. The more I think about it, the more I am convinced that I don't belong to the past, simple. Each stage I lived left me so different from the previous one that it would be just unthinkable and inconceivable to go back to some situation in the past, otherwise I would have to stop being me. There is no known record of a definite explanation of life, but somehow I know I'm not running amok, I'm on the right track. No worries, as Lily says. Look at it, I'm raising my glass. See you at the next stop.

Rome was not built in a day.

Yes. The time is winding down. Just because time moves, like a snake; it never stops sliding. And in its way, it drags things with it. Things, feelings, experiencies. Once in a while it plucks you even your breath, and completely changes the way you are and your whole conception of life. Then it makes you think about what the hell you are. Sometimes it makes you see the world through the eyes of a baby. Amazing, but also scaring, how it plays with your life.

If I learned anything from all this thing, it's that I should wait. No matter how much. I spent lots of moments this year in fear of things that did not happen. On the contrary, I was surprised more than once due to facts that I didn't ever expected. The train arrives at some point. And time is always there to fix everything. It is just like snow, removing blemishes. I learned to enjoy the whole process of the passing of time (you know, the several secondary factors which often remain in the background). I discovered the wonder of being attracted to what I do not understand, and the subsequent satisfaction of discovering the heart of the matter (or not). But above all, the greatest thing is of course, the way we experience pleasure though we do not understand just anything about the world around us.

Those shitty days, I had those too, and yes, they are inevitable part of life and this world of ours. On those days I slept a lot. Despite all that sleep I was still exhausted. Emotionally drained. Empty. Completely empty. No one understood why and I couldn't figure out how to explain it to anyone, so the question I was always getting was "Why are you so tired all the time? It's like you've done anything today". I couldn't make them understand just how crushing the situation was. But, like everything else, those moments went away, alone and lonely. Meanwhile I tried to find comfort in matters and deeds of beauty and kindness, which can always be found in the family or among friends (preferably both), and of course it worked. Look at this: the architecture of my region is a little typical, I already wrote about it. And in the colder months (now, by the way), when the skies are overcast, the grime begins to build up and plant life dies. Everything looks grey and dark, and sad. But, if I wait for a few months, I notice that when the sun shines, the bricks have been scrubbed and the trees are in full bloom, the buildings look absolutely beautiful, and the scene becomes a fairy tail. Amazing? It is just time.

Carpe diem, quam minimum credula postero. "Seize the day, putting as little trust as possible in the future". It helped a lot. These days are perhaps the most difficult ones, I can not stop thinking about the people around me and how quickly they will disappear, just in a few crappy days. So I try not to think about tomorrow. Otherwise I should go nuts.

I have already begun to open drawers, to empty cans. To look three times through the window before I brush my teeth. I started to look squarely into the eyes of the people, to whimper at nights. They are unique sensations, strong shocks. I'm looking forward to what this life has in store. Today I cling to my new lifeway, with no date or place. I answer with Alele kita konga. Head on, I'm coming back.