Again in touch.

Last week was a kind of cultural pump, and not regarding only to German culture, but to an incredible mix of everything. Have you thought about the title of the post? Yes, I had visitors (and yes, from my country... far, isn't it?). I received two friends from my small (and almost impossible to find) town, and as well I have spent the weekend with another guest, my cousin, who is living in Brussels. We have drunk enough beer and eaten enough German sausages, of course. Amazing moments, for sure.

I don't know why I always felt, throughout my whole stay here, the need to show everybody how beautiful and incredible is this place, and how good is my general life. I guess it is because I think in my natural parents, and all the doubts they must have about my new way of life. And I found pretty good the fact of showing all this to someone who would fly again to my country and could talk about it with my parents, face to face. I really took a load off.

Contrary to what AFS preaches, I found the visit enriching in every aspect, and not only for me, but also for my German family, who enjoyed their company as much as me. I discovered how amazing we can be, that when we really want, we can spend unforgettable moments, regardless if we share or not the culture, the skin color or even the language. The visit also woke me confidence in myself, because I realized that I was able to make a truly good thing with my German, due to the role of real-time translator I took.

Another clever remark I want to make is about how German I became (this still surprises me), as much that I programmed each little detail of every single day they would spend with me. And I don't want to boast about it, but I am proud because I knew how to take time together without being absent in the school. You can’t imagine how proud I feel of being such responsible (and I am sure that my friends have noticed that too).

I haven't won the lottery, but things are going really well. The trash that was somewhat stinking up my life has been swept away and although I sometimes want to kick out everything and just lie on my bed for a long long time, the bad moments are no longer so bad. I have not planned so many things (I don't want to be disappointed then), but anyway I know that this year will be even better than I have thought, no doubt.

Hope for tomorrow

Today was kind of a crappy day, for all sort of reasons that weren't in my power to change, you know, the type of unfortunate events that go beyond your control. I had, during almost all the day, a particular kind of bitter feeling inside. So, if you are looking for a post plenty of positivism, today is not the right day. And yes, I know I should probably be welcoming and friendly, and try to lighten up your life, and not succumb to my inner grump. But I am afraid this post will be gray, if any.

Three different bus drivers left me three times today! I think I ran more today than in my whole life trying to catch the fucking buses, screaming like a madman and cursing inside. Besides, I ran all the time with my backpack on my shoulders, which weighs more than two adorable kilos. I wanted to mourn. The reason for my anger is that the bus drivers are always late, but I mean ALWAYS. And I don't understand yet why I had such bad luck today, because the three fucking buses I had to take were so early, that when I arrived to the stop, they were just leaving. Shit.

And shit is not over. I had 4 free hours at the school today, but I still had to get up at 6:15 due to an only fucking hour in the first module. I can't believe how responsible I am. If it were my choice, I would haven't even thought about it, I would have been just absent. I personally think that one hour isn't really important enough to make shitty a whole morning, but I don't have to forget I am in Germany now, and things are different. And yes, I know: this particular sense of responsibility from here sucks.

I really don't want to come across as a stubborn, specially with my bitter complaints against this society. I must admit that it has opened the doors to me and there was no problem at all, in fact I always felt absolutely welcomed and supported. It is just that sometimes the good mood is too costly to wear every day when there are so many weird things around. The bad weather of the last three days has also to do, I think. I must be thankful because here I have a family. In sooth, today on the way back home I thought about locking myself in my room until tomorrow, but then when I met my hostparents and told them of my disgusting experience, everything became better. The smile returned, or at least a hint of it, and I found myself also laughing at my misfortunes. And man, that was a really sudden change of tone.

Right now I am leaned back in my chair, sipping Cappuccino from a cup, closed to all ways of feeling bad again, and thinking in all the stuff that makes life a bit better, brighter and lighter. So, to keep it reasonably short and interesting, these days are inevitably a part of this life, and although some days of my life are black and white, I try always to see them in all the splendid colors of the rainbow. This makes me feel better, as did the special words from grandma or good friends that I am truly missing.

In conclusion, I have something good to say: tomorrow will be better, of course. It could not be worse than today. At least I learned that the bus drivers who are already hateful will never be polite, even if you are fifteen minutes earlier standing at the stop, or if you smile nicely at them every time you show your ticket. And the funniest and most ironic thing of all is that this shit will happen again, a thousand times, and I wont be able to avoid it. So, problem without solution is not a problem. Just learn to make it part of my life. After all, today I did sports, and definitely a lot.

Must be nuts

-Ask me if I am happy.
-Agh?
-Ya, if I am happy, right now, please do it.
-Do you feel good?
-Haha seriously, just do it.
-Oh, come on, don't bother.
-Please, I beg you!
-God! O.K., so... are you happy?
-Check this beam and then, you guess!

Yes, do not tell me. It is clear that I am lazy. It has been almost 15 days without posts. But, you know, no news are good news, or in at least it is better to have no news than to have bad ones, and actually that's to do last have a bit to do with the last weeks.

First of all, I am doing very well, yeah yeah. My German has improved considerably, almost without me knowing it, and my social life has returned after the holidays like a blast of air, full of positivism and energy, thank God. My experience has taken a different course, I think more focused, more underway. I have started to collect the thrills I feel to judge the effectiveness of my program, and I must say that the first results have left me stunned. I have never imagined I could think so clearly and among so well defined thoughts. Of course, the process is still taking place and every day I notice that the things in my mind blow up from one place to another in a completely haywire way. Time ago, it'd have made me go crazy. However, I find it normal now, in fact, also wholly funny.

My blindness to what is not so good has gone away, pitifully. It is always interesting to be in touch with the characteristics of a particular society which are good enough to stick out, and draw them to your own society. That always happens during short periods of stay, which is not my case. Then, one gets bored and used to (and this is, as a matter of fact, really human). So now I am able to break through the negative characteristics of this society, just to try not to implement them. But I won't write my analysis yet. I'm really in a good mood to be negative today.

These days I have been also thinking about my family, but in a completely different way. I realized how much it has influenced on what I am right now and how strong I feel every moment I think of it. Last week it was my sister’s 15th birthday, and as the tradition goes, they organised a huge party to celebrate it. I have to say that I felt sad during almost the whole day and several times I desperately wanted to fly back to my country , to my place, to meet my roots and hug my people. It also came to my mind thoughts about the people who have no family, and I realized how lucky I am just 'cause my family is incredibly marvellous. But what moved me most was the fact that many people do have a family though it seems that they don’t. That is really a shame.

Finally, I thought about all the expats, like me, and about the difficulty of their situation. For me, it's been repeatedly difficult to understand the behaviors, traditions and just the way of life of this society, even when I have an adorable family who really do their own to make me feel comfortable and adapted everyday. Now, I can’t effectively be myself in those people’s place, they who had to move from their country alone, living in a completely different culture, with anyone available to speak to in the evening, or to have breakfast with.

I promise little by little I will update my life. Regards.

Frohe Ostern!

There were many who asked me if the Germans also celebrate Easter. And it is a coincidence that yesterday flipping through the newspaper, I read about a politician who mentioned that, for Germany, Easter festivity was even more important than Christmas. I am not sure of that because I have not experienced Christmas yet, but what I can say is that Germany has some awesome traditions, and Easter is no exception. As I told you, Easter celebrations had started off some time ago with a bang, the Karneval party. But do not let that fool you: that was just the beginning.

The Easter season in Germany is a vibrant one. Something that caught my attention was the decoration of trees (known as Osterbäume) with brightly and cheerful coloured Easter eggs, which can be bought at special Easter markets found all around. However, for many it is a tradition to decorate the eggs at home, out of emptied eggshells or real boiled eggs. We have made our own ones yesterday.


Furthermore, the people are used to attend Oster Feuer (Easter Bonfire) on the Saturday before Easter, an exciting celebration where they get together to burn "last year's Christmas trees" (I write it as a quote because they burn almost an entire forest haha). As you can see in the picture, the flames frequently reach a height of almost five meters. This is often a social event with enough food, beer, and BBQ's. We travelled to a friend of my host family and spent the evening grilling and sitting near the fire. We grabbed some roastbratwursts (typical roasted sausages) and set out to find the perfect spot to enjoy the fire. In Germany it is not very popular to roast marshmallows but bread called stockbrot (a type of bread whose dough has been rolled and twisted over the end of a stick, and baked over an open fire).


'Ostereier suchen' (Easter Egg hunts) are also a popular family tradition in Germany. It is common to get a visit from our furry friend, the Oster Hase (Easter Bunny), even if you are a teenager. Today it was very funny when we had to search for chocolate eggs hidden in the garden behind the house.

The 'honey moon' has past, and not everything is rosy now. As an expat there are many things I miss from home, especially the way the people relate to each other, the involuntary hugs and all that warm stuff to express your feelings. But at the same time I can only smile because I really am blessed to have the opportunity to experience this beautiful German time, and to be accompanied by incredible people who are interested in my emotional state and personal development.

Osterferien

I am back, after a restful week's holiday in the south. I finally met my mother's parents, who would be my grandparents, and I spent a couple of warm days at their home, walking around, knowing incredible places, and eating, of course.

I have to say that all the grandparents' households have something that makes them special, in some way. For me, in my country, grandma's house was someplace where the rules were different from what they were at home. I have always run to my granma's when I felt angry or upset, and my grandma was always there to make me see things from another point of view, more calmy. I also still taste in my mouth her cakes and desserts. And I have discovered that, to a greater or lesser extent, all the people have such a feeling with their grandma's house.

The home of my grandparents here was largely a warm home, you could feel it. There were little things everywhere, souvenirs from different places, handcrafted clay dough ornaments of all kinds and gifts they have been collecting over their lifetime. That is really characteristic. All grandparents love to talk about their grandchildren and being able to show how much they are loved and appreciated by them is a truly wonderful thing.

The grandmothers' meals are also renowned all over the world for their flavor, and this time it was not an exception. Oma (German word for grandma) cooked a variety of typical dishes of the area, and as expected, everything with a strong and delicious taste. I must say that I ate too much. Tons of ice cream, tasty home-baked cakes, warm bread, and pretzels (a type of bread made from dough and savory in a unique knot-like shape) were devoured by the hungry grandchildren, to the joy of the grandmother.

Referring to my progress, I have discovered myself talking German, which is also an incredible feeling inside that fills me with energy and desire to move forward. On the other hand, and much to my chagrin, I notice day after day how my English and Spanish are getting worse. I can't speak without making several grammar mistakes, and all the time my head is full with a mixture of words and languages. I know the situation will change over time, or at least I hope so.

I believe that music is a good way to convey emotions, so here you are a little present, one more window into my world. I am sure you will feel the joy.



Finally, I expect everyone has an outstanding Easter time, enjoying the company of the family and forgetting the problems. Bye!

Smile

It is Saturday morning. I am walking towards the bus stop. I am not thinking in anything special, I am just in a blissful mood because I will meet Flor, a girl from my country. Suddenly, I run into a lady. I steel a quick glance at her eyes and I give her a little smile. And this is how all begin. She ask me if she knows me from somewhere. So I explain that I am an exchange student, from Argentina. And she starts to speak good Spanish. She has lived seven years in Mallorca, Spain. She lives now in Cologne, and she encourages me to visit the city. She is really missing the way that the people interact in Spain. Unfortunately, it is late and I have to take the bus right now. Before my departure, she says to me: I am here every Saturday. Hopefully I see you again. I pleasantly greet her and I leave.

Ok. That was more or less what happened to me on Saturday morning. And the point I want to get is in the cause of all the episode: a smile. A little and insignificant smile, which sparked a warm and confident environment from scratch.

It is well known that 'laughter is the best medicine', despite the fact that when we really need medicine, we are in no position to laugh about it, at all. But I am not talking about laughter. I am talking about Smile. Surely you know the difference.

If someone ask me what is my best quality, I think I would answer: my smile. I am the kind of person who smiles for no reason. And I know a lot of people who are going through dreamy times and they even don't smile. Their foreheads are always wrinkled. Since they are frowned all the time, they build up tension. So I think everybody should do it. All people have to force themselves to smile. Even if they are not feeling like smiling. This helps to relieve the tension, I swear it.

And the great aftermath of all this issue lies on the amazing things you can get only for it. Whenever I am feeling low and someone gives me a smile, it makes me think different. It is funny really, that I am really angry, boiling mad at something or someone, but I am physically smiling. And after a while my mood changes to far better. It works. I used to think that happiness brings out smile in people. However, now I have realized that a fake smile also brings up emotional happiness.

So... what are you waiting for? I am sure you are smiling right now. Cool.

Wheels in motion

Spring is here, which is a welcome and pleasant relief after the cold and hard winter that received me. It seemed as it was never going to end, but at last the nice days are arising. For most people in my country, winter is a good time to concentrate on indoor activities, and here that was not an exception (naturally, nobody wants gardening with 50 cm of snow or with 10 degrees below zero). The weather has been nice for the last week, although I get to enjoy it only a little bit since I spend most of my day in my daily activities. We changed to daylight saving time and the days seem longer now. The unique little drawback of this issue is that we have to go to school under the cover of darkness, but I am sure in a few days it won't be dark any more. I have noticed that the people are taking more often to the streets, the shrubs are becoming greener, those wild flowers like bluebonnets and a lot of tulips are blooming now, and the whole panorama is more colourful and alive. I believe the current atmosphere greatly influences on people's thoughts and emotions, everything seems better.

It is almost a month and a half since I moved to Germany, and the things continue improving. I haven't picked up any of the German accents, not yet at least, but I find myself confident to say things in German without problems. Of course I am not able to discuss philosophical matters, but I am starting to understand what people are talking about, and that makes me happy and full of desires to continue with this program. Lately it has been rather easy to adjust to the life here, I am not entirely sure why, though, maybe it is the language, or the weather. Or maybe it is just that I feel better with my current life and that is all.

They say that good things come in three, which must be the case of me too: today I have a freeschool day, together with my family we have started to plan our summer holidays to Croatia and the sun is shining for what seems like the first time in ages. My brother and his girlfriend and I took a short ramble towards the surroundings of my house, which included a stop in two parks for children and a tour along the river, before I cooked Argentinian Lomitos for everyone. I have done them with Argentinian steak! That was deep-felt.

I have been treating more people and I am glad because every person I bumped into was universally warm and welcoming, despite the naturally curious and hesitant looks I notice every day everywhere. I have learned that if there is something that the Germans need, that is time. People seem friendlier, more attentive. I guess my German has much to do... so there is another reason to keep trying and speaking, of course. It is better to move myself than to wait sat without doing anything. So, wheels in motion. There is no reason to be outdone.