The perfect order.

Some days ago I made a remark about a shitty day I had, due to a problem with an early bus and all the shit it carries. And, as a matter-of-fact, I had a similar problem again, maybe worst because it was not a bus, but a train. I might as well blog about shitty days because in this time my reaction was completely different. I have learned to be grateful for these off days. Those days where you try to look at the bright side but some times it's difficult because the things just aren't going like you would like. Off days, I mean, bad days, and setbacks which are inevitable in our personal and social lives. The other day I had to make some combinations of trains to come back home. But one train what 4 minutes late. Only 4 minutes that proved to be enough time to lose my next combination, and turned out into a shitty night with more than an hour of waiting.

Contrary to the reaction I would have expected, I found myself easy and relaxed. I withdrew my Harry Potter book in German and I started to read, beaten by the raw night, and anyway smooth. You could say it was a really cold night, as a result of sporadic showers happened throughout the day. Also I didn't feel really snug. But I was at peace.

Many people would point out that I am crazy because I didn't seem really altered. And yes, I thought about it. It is another result of this incredible process I am going through. This implies that I have changed the way I face everyday situations. I am prepared to respond to sudden and unexpected changes without becoming a moonstruck out of my boxes. I know I can stay calm if I see that my goals are distorted and the road seems crooked. I understood the perfect order of the things (just because it doesn't exist!). Spontaneous alternatives that break forth are sometimes too good to notice. Or maybe just because after a change we are so wrapped up in our anger that our ability to identify and catch new opportunities becomes blind. So this is the new direction, the new purpose that had taken my search.

Rounded and short, I feel better every day. I have spent a wonderful weekend, and for the first time here, I was involved in a situation that made me feel useful, helpful for someone, and filled with satisfaction. Now, I have stopped waiting for future moments. I have realized mournfully that the time is going faster as expected. Now I hope just shocks, without doubt they are the best way to learn. According to Einstein, the crisis is the greatest blessing that can happen, it makes you open to the world, start a search and just live.

And of course, like a flight, with turbulence, delays, ups and downs during the adventure, I know that my life won't be out of problems. But I know I have to focus on my strengths to develop and improve my weaknesses, and I am on the way, yes sir. Besides, all who know me are sure that I will never ever ever forget to show everyone my sparkling and almost flawless smile, be sure of that.

The flow of knowledge

I have long wanted to write about this stuff, but I think it wasn't really clear until today. Now I have something to say, something that could help you if you are trying to learn something, to make your life a little more interesting, or just to improve yourself.

Have you ever thought about how it works? Actually it's strange what I've been thinking these days about. Are you trying to learn something new every day? Or every month? A new hobby, a new fact, a new language maybe? Perhaps you have realized that it isn't so easy. And perhaps have you also noticed that sometimes one thinks that there is no place enough in his head for acquiring more intellect. And from that point comes the analysis of today.

Now more absorbed than ever, I realized that it is essential just to empty the box. Let's take the following example: when we want to store our freshly washed clothes in the closet, sometimes we think that the place is not ample, that some items will remain out of it. But, if we remove all out and organize everything again, we find out that there was place enough, and also that there is still room to spare.

And what I mean? Full heads, empty heads. What do you prefer? The full heads stand up and pour out knowledge. The empty heads eagerly gobble it up like hungry piglets. Understand what I am trying to explain? Sometimes it is necessary to empty our minds. Throw away everything we have learned, even the deepest thoughts. It is of paramount importance to entrench oneself heavily in what one tries to learn, and forget everything else. The tabula rasa effect, the blank or erased slate as it is known in English. It is truly intriguing and fascinating how great it can be. As an empty blank sheet, an empty head has room for a lot of new fresh knowledge, and that is the only thing we actually need. Sometimes it is not about the fact, but the way.

I know you'll be asking yourself what about the things that you have already learned.
Where are they going to go, maybe to waste? So, here is my answer related to my experience. When I started to learn German, I noticed every day how my English was deteriorating. I also noticed that my Spanish had started to retrogress. And I felt invaded. I was afraid of losing what I had taken so long to achieve. But, I had no choice. If I did not learn German, I could not live here anymore. So, I got carried away. And to my delight, I realized that, with time, things eventually returned to its right place, and then this place looked much bigger and organized than ever.

Now, this applies to everything. No pain, no gain. We have to detach. Move away from what we have had always nearby. Try new ways, new trends. New perspectives and points of view. Empty heads, happy hearts. Think about, it has sense. Try it. Make a skimpy effort from now on. Hope it helps.

English? German? Spanish?

Hello my people! I'm sorry for the delay. As I step into this culture, I am busier and without much free time to think about writing. But things that I can't stop sharing still appear. I am still impressed by the last weekend. I have been in which I catalog as the most famous city of the whole world, important for more than two millennia, one of the world's leading cultural centres... in short: Paris. So, here we go, once again.

We arrived in Clichy (a district of the metropolis), where my hostel was, on a cool spring evening, without knowing exactly where we were, what we were doing and which feelings would arousse that weekend. And just some minutes later it took place the first contact with the fantasy world in which we were immersed: we were face to face with the incredible Eiffel Tower, at night, which was shining immutable in the middle of the settlement. Such a feeling... I mean, after a whole life talking about her and figuring up her curves and shapes... there she was. Standing in front of us, unalterable, slender, rigid, arrogant. The iron monster, the queen of France. 330 metres of beauty and perfection. Enlightened and escorted by the whole world, icon of the human race. It is impossible to explain the situation. It was just her and us, nothing else. And goosebumps, of course.

After that wonderful welcome, we all thought it would be rattling difficult to spring up such strong feelings again. But definitely, we were wrong. As we walked through the city, I bumped into situations that made me feel once more in another place, dreamingly. I had never had this kind of feeling for a city. I had fallen in love several times, specially with London and Buenos Aires, but this time it was different. For the first time I found a city as a place to live in, linked to a whole way of thinking and enjoying life, art and respect. And don't ask me why, because I actually don't know the answer.



I fell completely in love with Montmartre, the district around the homonym hill. There lies the Sacre Coer Basilica, very interesting indeed, because of its byzantine architechture, quite different from the rest. But the view over the city was the most amazing part. We wandered around the small and winding streets at the top of the hill and drunk some beer. The atmosphere was incredible. Montmartre has always had a history related to artists and has many studios and cafes of many great artists in the area (Pablo Picasso, for example). Also the people who frequent that place usually have a particular vision about how to live life that I am really interested in.

Something worth telling: I lived a situation that I found truly encouraging and filled me with pride and self-esteem. And in fact, it has not happened only to me. After having settled in a Germanic culture and got used to the German language, we had to change again to a French speaking country. And at the moment we had to communicate, we found ourselves asking: Excuse me, do you speak English? German? Spanish? Maybe Italian? And, man, that was a great feeling inside. We had never thought about how important languages are, and how valuable it is to know them, therefore how capable we are, even being so young. We had to drink to that.

And yeah yeah, it was probably the most amazing museum I have ever been to. The Louvre, one of the most important institutions in the world. I flew while walking along its royal halls and corridors, steped into history and mystery, and with so much to show and teach. I have to say that I didn't really tickle my fancy when I spotted La Gioconda. The most spoken painting around the world, and it took me ten minutes to actually realize I was in the same room where it lays. Its size of less than a metre (too small), and the people around, so crazy about taking a photo, spoiled the moment. Anyway, I met other masterpieces of Leonardo, Delacroix, and Rembrandt, including the Virgin of the Rocks (that forced me to stop in front of her). I also strolled among millenarian Greek and Roman works, and definitely the experience was worth living.

I always seemed to find myself in staggering and astonishing situations, like the one in the metro station, when a totally drunk man jumped into the rails some seconds before the train arrived and narrowly he did not finish turned into mincemeat. It was a show, especially by the uproar at the crowd. Unfortunately the man lived, and the moment became a simple anecdote more, of thousands. Ok, don't believe what I just said last, haha.

When it seems that one can't learn anything else, boom! One runs into these situations that give meaning to life and make one feel alive. One feels good man, and also believes that he is doing things right, that he is on the right way. And that, and nothing else, is the most important thing, that is what effectively matters. Have a nice weekend.

Again in touch.

Last week was a kind of cultural pump, and not regarding only to German culture, but to an incredible mix of everything. Have you thought about the title of the post? Yes, I had visitors (and yes, from my country... far, isn't it?). I received two friends from my small (and almost impossible to find) town, and as well I have spent the weekend with another guest, my cousin, who is living in Brussels. We have drunk enough beer and eaten enough German sausages, of course. Amazing moments, for sure.

I don't know why I always felt, throughout my whole stay here, the need to show everybody how beautiful and incredible is this place, and how good is my general life. I guess it is because I think in my natural parents, and all the doubts they must have about my new way of life. And I found pretty good the fact of showing all this to someone who would fly again to my country and could talk about it with my parents, face to face. I really took a load off.

Contrary to what AFS preaches, I found the visit enriching in every aspect, and not only for me, but also for my German family, who enjoyed their company as much as me. I discovered how amazing we can be, that when we really want, we can spend unforgettable moments, regardless if we share or not the culture, the skin color or even the language. The visit also woke me confidence in myself, because I realized that I was able to make a truly good thing with my German, due to the role of real-time translator I took.

Another clever remark I want to make is about how German I became (this still surprises me), as much that I programmed each little detail of every single day they would spend with me. And I don't want to boast about it, but I am proud because I knew how to take time together without being absent in the school. You can’t imagine how proud I feel of being such responsible (and I am sure that my friends have noticed that too).

I haven't won the lottery, but things are going really well. The trash that was somewhat stinking up my life has been swept away and although I sometimes want to kick out everything and just lie on my bed for a long long time, the bad moments are no longer so bad. I have not planned so many things (I don't want to be disappointed then), but anyway I know that this year will be even better than I have thought, no doubt.

Hope for tomorrow

Today was kind of a crappy day, for all sort of reasons that weren't in my power to change, you know, the type of unfortunate events that go beyond your control. I had, during almost all the day, a particular kind of bitter feeling inside. So, if you are looking for a post plenty of positivism, today is not the right day. And yes, I know I should probably be welcoming and friendly, and try to lighten up your life, and not succumb to my inner grump. But I am afraid this post will be gray, if any.

Three different bus drivers left me three times today! I think I ran more today than in my whole life trying to catch the fucking buses, screaming like a madman and cursing inside. Besides, I ran all the time with my backpack on my shoulders, which weighs more than two adorable kilos. I wanted to mourn. The reason for my anger is that the bus drivers are always late, but I mean ALWAYS. And I don't understand yet why I had such bad luck today, because the three fucking buses I had to take were so early, that when I arrived to the stop, they were just leaving. Shit.

And shit is not over. I had 4 free hours at the school today, but I still had to get up at 6:15 due to an only fucking hour in the first module. I can't believe how responsible I am. If it were my choice, I would haven't even thought about it, I would have been just absent. I personally think that one hour isn't really important enough to make shitty a whole morning, but I don't have to forget I am in Germany now, and things are different. And yes, I know: this particular sense of responsibility from here sucks.

I really don't want to come across as a stubborn, specially with my bitter complaints against this society. I must admit that it has opened the doors to me and there was no problem at all, in fact I always felt absolutely welcomed and supported. It is just that sometimes the good mood is too costly to wear every day when there are so many weird things around. The bad weather of the last three days has also to do, I think. I must be thankful because here I have a family. In sooth, today on the way back home I thought about locking myself in my room until tomorrow, but then when I met my hostparents and told them of my disgusting experience, everything became better. The smile returned, or at least a hint of it, and I found myself also laughing at my misfortunes. And man, that was a really sudden change of tone.

Right now I am leaned back in my chair, sipping Cappuccino from a cup, closed to all ways of feeling bad again, and thinking in all the stuff that makes life a bit better, brighter and lighter. So, to keep it reasonably short and interesting, these days are inevitably a part of this life, and although some days of my life are black and white, I try always to see them in all the splendid colors of the rainbow. This makes me feel better, as did the special words from grandma or good friends that I am truly missing.

In conclusion, I have something good to say: tomorrow will be better, of course. It could not be worse than today. At least I learned that the bus drivers who are already hateful will never be polite, even if you are fifteen minutes earlier standing at the stop, or if you smile nicely at them every time you show your ticket. And the funniest and most ironic thing of all is that this shit will happen again, a thousand times, and I wont be able to avoid it. So, problem without solution is not a problem. Just learn to make it part of my life. After all, today I did sports, and definitely a lot.

Must be nuts

-Ask me if I am happy.
-Agh?
-Ya, if I am happy, right now, please do it.
-Do you feel good?
-Haha seriously, just do it.
-Oh, come on, don't bother.
-Please, I beg you!
-God! O.K., so... are you happy?
-Check this beam and then, you guess!

Yes, do not tell me. It is clear that I am lazy. It has been almost 15 days without posts. But, you know, no news are good news, or in at least it is better to have no news than to have bad ones, and actually that's to do last have a bit to do with the last weeks.

First of all, I am doing very well, yeah yeah. My German has improved considerably, almost without me knowing it, and my social life has returned after the holidays like a blast of air, full of positivism and energy, thank God. My experience has taken a different course, I think more focused, more underway. I have started to collect the thrills I feel to judge the effectiveness of my program, and I must say that the first results have left me stunned. I have never imagined I could think so clearly and among so well defined thoughts. Of course, the process is still taking place and every day I notice that the things in my mind blow up from one place to another in a completely haywire way. Time ago, it'd have made me go crazy. However, I find it normal now, in fact, also wholly funny.

My blindness to what is not so good has gone away, pitifully. It is always interesting to be in touch with the characteristics of a particular society which are good enough to stick out, and draw them to your own society. That always happens during short periods of stay, which is not my case. Then, one gets bored and used to (and this is, as a matter of fact, really human). So now I am able to break through the negative characteristics of this society, just to try not to implement them. But I won't write my analysis yet. I'm really in a good mood to be negative today.

These days I have been also thinking about my family, but in a completely different way. I realized how much it has influenced on what I am right now and how strong I feel every moment I think of it. Last week it was my sister’s 15th birthday, and as the tradition goes, they organised a huge party to celebrate it. I have to say that I felt sad during almost the whole day and several times I desperately wanted to fly back to my country , to my place, to meet my roots and hug my people. It also came to my mind thoughts about the people who have no family, and I realized how lucky I am just 'cause my family is incredibly marvellous. But what moved me most was the fact that many people do have a family though it seems that they don’t. That is really a shame.

Finally, I thought about all the expats, like me, and about the difficulty of their situation. For me, it's been repeatedly difficult to understand the behaviors, traditions and just the way of life of this society, even when I have an adorable family who really do their own to make me feel comfortable and adapted everyday. Now, I can’t effectively be myself in those people’s place, they who had to move from their country alone, living in a completely different culture, with anyone available to speak to in the evening, or to have breakfast with.

I promise little by little I will update my life. Regards.

Frohe Ostern!

There were many who asked me if the Germans also celebrate Easter. And it is a coincidence that yesterday flipping through the newspaper, I read about a politician who mentioned that, for Germany, Easter festivity was even more important than Christmas. I am not sure of that because I have not experienced Christmas yet, but what I can say is that Germany has some awesome traditions, and Easter is no exception. As I told you, Easter celebrations had started off some time ago with a bang, the Karneval party. But do not let that fool you: that was just the beginning.

The Easter season in Germany is a vibrant one. Something that caught my attention was the decoration of trees (known as Osterbäume) with brightly and cheerful coloured Easter eggs, which can be bought at special Easter markets found all around. However, for many it is a tradition to decorate the eggs at home, out of emptied eggshells or real boiled eggs. We have made our own ones yesterday.


Furthermore, the people are used to attend Oster Feuer (Easter Bonfire) on the Saturday before Easter, an exciting celebration where they get together to burn "last year's Christmas trees" (I write it as a quote because they burn almost an entire forest haha). As you can see in the picture, the flames frequently reach a height of almost five meters. This is often a social event with enough food, beer, and BBQ's. We travelled to a friend of my host family and spent the evening grilling and sitting near the fire. We grabbed some roastbratwursts (typical roasted sausages) and set out to find the perfect spot to enjoy the fire. In Germany it is not very popular to roast marshmallows but bread called stockbrot (a type of bread whose dough has been rolled and twisted over the end of a stick, and baked over an open fire).


'Ostereier suchen' (Easter Egg hunts) are also a popular family tradition in Germany. It is common to get a visit from our furry friend, the Oster Hase (Easter Bunny), even if you are a teenager. Today it was very funny when we had to search for chocolate eggs hidden in the garden behind the house.

The 'honey moon' has past, and not everything is rosy now. As an expat there are many things I miss from home, especially the way the people relate to each other, the involuntary hugs and all that warm stuff to express your feelings. But at the same time I can only smile because I really am blessed to have the opportunity to experience this beautiful German time, and to be accompanied by incredible people who are interested in my emotional state and personal development.